10 hour flights, traffic and it all being worthwhile

 

We were very lucky on the flight out and managed to get a change of cabin, which makes a long flight so incredibly different. My early morning time-zone muddled brain says that it is the difference between humane travel and cargo travel. Humane travel allows you to enjoy the trip and be energized upon arrival, cargo travel leaves you frazzled and worn out by the press of other people and not enough space to move. So...we were very very lucky. 

We arrived at Heathrow at it was a beautiful day. By the time we made it into London proper, it was pretty much a cold night. We hit a fair amount of commute traffic. <grin> 

Once again we lucked out with our hotel room and have an incredibly spacious room that is very nice and quiet and super centrally located. Plus, I’m getting to write on a writing desk with two lion lamps. Pictures will be forthcoming at some point. Also, the hotel pre-dates the USA...which is interesting/humorous. 

But the best part of the first day was one of the major reasons for the trip, we got to see our family who is out here.  And that was great. So happy for those we’ve already gotten to see and those we will hopefully get to see soon, and to hear how well they are doing and how great they look. 

It was a very short, partial day but all-in-all it was everything that could be asked for in getting to see people that we have been missing very much. 

The Night Before (and the Day of) Travel

So, the trip is going to be exciting and I’m thinking most of the posts and discussions are going to be positive but this is going to be about the joy of traveling with anxiety. The travel companion that you can’t leave at home. 

 Winston after two walks

Winston after two walks

And it is something that you unfortunately share with everyone around. It makes me cranky, constantly feeling angry, unsettled and worried about everything. It leaves the mind whirring where it is impossible to determine if a concern that is being raised by your brain is an actual concern or something that the anxiety is tossing out as a thought to keep you from going and doing something. And, yes...everyone has these sort of thoughts to some extent (or at least I assume they do) but for me they are non-stop. Multiples and multiplying. Are the dogs going to be okay, will a panic attack occur on the plane, will I be in another plane crash, will something happen to the house, will... And this message just plays over and over repeatedly until at some point you inadvertently snap at someone or something happens that comes out as a focal point that you have a theoretical reason to complain to someone about.

And it affects others as well, both dogs have been completely on edge the past couple of days. Neither wanting to leave my side for a second. Winston having digestive issues. Blah blah blah.

 Bluebelle - the guardian following me everywhere

Bluebelle - the guardian following me everywhere

It creates a dynamic where I’m left excited and horrified about the prospect of the trip all at once. And feeling horrible for those who have to be around me while the anxiety spin just ramps up more and more. You breathe, you do all the tricks to keep it in check, and in the end you have to figure out how to move forward although the entire force of your brain tries and tell you that that forward movement means something horrible is going to happen and it is your fault for not being prepared for it.